I wonder if you know what you’re doing. I wonder if you know how life will change once you give yourself to someone else; hand yourself over to someone completely different from you.
My soul, my dear soul, I wonder if you know what LOVE could do to you.
Yes, you will be the happiest. You will fall a hundred times or more. You will be short of words to fathom your feelings. You will feel ecstatic and exuberant. You will feel that you are being cherished, and every moment you spend with that person will feel like larger than your lifetime and simply ‘perfect’.
But you will also sometimes not feel any of these.
Dear soul, I hope you know that in the process of handing yourself over to someone new, you’re also taking a potential risk. You’re letting yourself in something that is unknown and something that has a slight possibility of making you feel vulnerable. I’m not warning you, I’m neither threatening you – I’m just letting you know.
Just like you feel that you can’t choose right now, that you can’t decide, I also feel helpless and I can’t lose you.
But, know that love is beautiful and thorny. Just like a rose perfectly symbolizes pain and happiness, love too blends both of them together swiftly.
You will not be alone. Even if you do not talk to the person all day, you will feel connected. You will feel a universe of happiness originating in yourself, and crossing boundaries and more, when you are with the person. You will (literally) be flying high.
But again, on some days you will want to fall off from your bed, slit your wrist, slap yourself, yell at your crying face in the mirror and on those days you will come to hate yourself. But then again, these are the days when you will have to decide.
You have to take up the power of decision.
Unlike what you think, my dear soul – you will have a choice.
You can decide.
Probably not now. Probably, you want it all now and you’re willing to fall into it, fall for it.
But years, months, days or probably even if hours later, you find yourself in a wrong place and your gut tells you that it’s not worth it – LEAVE.
It’s not a mistake to leave. It’s a conscious choice.
However, do not leave just because you think it is an easier choice to make. Because love is about war and cuddle, wrapped up into one cloth.
You cannot always be smiling when you’re going to be with another person. Fights will happen. You may be upset, or your partner may be upset. But remember, that is when the real test starts.
You have to stand strong and learn to fight. Even though you are allowed to leave, sometimes you have to TRY to see if you COULD stay back. But any decision you take, DO NOT compromise on your happiness. Ever.
I’ve heard this in a famous Hindi movie, “some days it’ll be 50-50 and some other days it’ll be 90-50”. You gotta beat through the wild, uncanny, and savage things to root out the beautiful, tender, and sweet fruits. Always.
My dear soul, take care of yourself. Through everything and anything you will have me.
Now that you’re in your abode of a new person – now that you have handed yourself over to someone else – I feel lonely, yet I’m your only mate and your only fate.
I will love you always.